Thursday, August 13, 2009

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

The Prompt: A God Moment

One night, my mom's cancer placed her in excruciating pain. She cried and cried all night long in between periods of vomiting from the chemotherapy. It was a lot for me to withstand at 14 years old and not sure what I could do. I felt so helpless.

The disease was in its final stages and that evening she was unable to move from her aching bones, which is why she was hollering all night. I loved her more than I loved myself and was dying inside. What could I do? The doctors were out of answers and out of cures. Where could I turn for some solace and solutions?

It was midnight as I walked into our mini-kitchen in Queens and sat by the window. Outside was completely still and quiet. I placed my hands together to pray. My hands were so tightly wound out of the sheer desperation for my mother's well being. In that moment, I prayed with all of my heart, my soul, my every ounce of being that I could muster up. I never prayed with the same intensity before or since.

"God, please, I am going to ask for this one favor. I know I am not perfect and maybe do not deserve to have my prayers answered, but this is so important to me and if you help, I will be forever compliant to you."

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as I whispered those words. I couldn't stop crying as my nose became instantly runny too.

"God, please, I know my mother is dying, but please give her a break at least for one day. Please make her experience a day of happiness and comfort. Please Lord, she is such a kind and loving mother. I may not deserve your mercy, but she does. She has faith in you and is so good to everyone. Please help her go to sleep tonight and wake up with ease in the morning."

I stayed by that window for a good hour repeating that prayer over and over again. The word please had never sounded and felt as sincere as it did in that moment.

I went to bed with swollen eyes. I tried to fall asleep, but all I heard was my mother's agony and my heart beating out of my chest from the anxiety it was feeling.

Around 3 AM there was finally silence and I managed to close my eyes. My dad left for work early and I did not even hear him leave.

I woke up before my mom, prepared her breakfast, cleaned her bowl by her bedside, and got a fresh robe ready for her to wear.

My mother came out and her cheeks looked like there was a sign of life in them. She said "Good Morning" and it was with a smile. She could walk, even though the night before she could not even approach the bathroom without the support from me and my father.

In that moment, I was truly happy. Not the kind of happy that we associate with, but the happy that is of spiritual multitudes, that fills every cell in your body with joy. The kind of happy that is euphoric. The kind that lifts your feet off the floor as you are floating about. The kind of happy that is not of this Earth.

I made tea and we sat around just talking. She told me that after she died, she wanted to be mummified and placed in the corner of our living room to scare my father's future girlfriends. I laughed while trying to figure out how to make that happen. Who would provide such a service?

I made her favorite Spinach Soup for lunch and we talked about life, boyfriends, school, values, love, and most of all her concern to leave me at such an impressionable age. As she talked, I admired her soft skin, warm eyes, and motherly hands that I had grown to depend on and was going to miss insensibly.

It was a wonderful day. One that I knew only God had provided to the both of us to prepare for the inevitable. I will never forget that moment or the lessons that came out of it, which still rules my decision making to this day. I had her for 14 years of my life, but she taught me enough to last me for 100.

The night I prayed, I understood for the first time about being able to "move mountains" when you have Faith. Faith and the desire for an event to take place. I pray every night, but it never feels as genuine as it did then and that's why it probably was one of the few times, that I was witness to a Miracle.


Anonymous said...

This was very touching. I love how your mom asked to be mummified, what a trip she must have been! God Bless you both. xoxoxo

Kelly said...

WOW!!! What a wonderful God moment!

Mom of Three said...

how lucky to have a beautiful mother like that, and how sad to have lost her so early. but God does work miracles and he does answer prayers. thanks for sharing this with us.

Dana Tina said...

I have tears in my eyes and a big knot in my throat...
It is beautiful!!!

jordy said...

i love it. i'm so glad that you got to have that day with her. :)

Erin said...

That is beautiful!

Jen said...

Wow what an amazing story that show how wonderful God is. Thank you for sharing it.

r said...

happy birthday to both my leo friends!!

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