Friday, May 1, 2009

TODDLERS & STEALING

What happened today was criminal, but it provided my husband and I with a lot of belly flopping laughs! I advise you to read this post with caution and a serious sense of humor.

I went on a budget friendly shopping spree with my three kids, my three ANGELIC children........My kid would never........fill in the blank because as parents we are convinced to have given birth to SAINTS.

At the check out counter, my sons (will not name names), so effortlessly noticed a pack of Trident Gum previously opened by another pint sized criminal. "Look Mom, this gum is already open......."

"It doesn't matter, it does not belong to us, unless we pay for it." I was calm and very June Cleaverish, convinced that I made my point so clear.

"Can we buy it then?" my two little Heavenly Creatures reputed.

"No, you have tons of candy at home and I am trying to save money."

The lady at the register became absolutely mesmerized by my precious Kate, who of course can do "NO WRONG", I mean she's 7 months old. She drew my attention away from my God given gifts, as though they had payed her under the register to do so.

I paid, the lady gushed, and life goes on.

I needed to make one more stop at a different Super Market because they offered "SPECIALS" that could not be ignored. I am gleefully rolling down the baking isle as I take notice that Lance's (oops, I forgot I wasn't supposed to mention names) jawline is motioning in the same manner as a cow chewing on grass. Ultimately, I became concerned that he picked up a dangerous object off the floor and was eating it.

"Lance, what's in your mouth?"

"Nothing, Mom."

"Lance, I can see your mouth moving. What is in your mouth?"

At the same moment, I could see my 6 year old, Ethan (man I did it again), becoming fidgety and nervous.

Lance reached in his mouth and took out, yup you guessed it, GUM!!!!!! Not any ole' piece of gum, but EVIDENCE.

"Is that gum from SAFEWAY? The one I said you could not have?"

"Yes," said Lance, while his older counterpart was pleading the 5th.

"Do you mean that you stole that?"

Lance wasn't quite sure what to make of that word, but Ethan was already searching for a way OUT!

"Did Dad and I not make it clear that if you ever got a bad spankin' it would be for stealing?" (Now for all of you out there reading this, do not fear for our children's well physical being, these were interrogating words more than anything).

"YES," muttered Ethan.

"Well, then prepare for the worst trouble you have ever been in this evening!"

I will stop right here, until tomorrow. Please come back to visit the fate of our Darlin'
Souls, as the dramatic farce continues.


No comments:

Blog Widget by LinkWithin